Random Rants and Babblings

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:35:07 GMT

I came onto LiveJournal after all this time, and seeing the message "It has been 50 weeks since your last post." was really bothering me. So I decided to rectify this situation. I can't believe it has been almost a whole year since posting anything significant online...

It is hard to imagine myself not creating, not leading, and not experiencing things. Needless to say, this past year has had its ups and downs. But most recently, the ups have been in a one month period of time: October. Between finally being onboard a full-time job, having my ideas and decisions not only heard and recognized -- but respected, and having something I have waited on for over three years finally be realized, I have started looking forward in life.

Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad, and looking for a new place to live this life has come with a blast from the past. An explosion, that is. Apparently the apartment I used to live in way up in Baltimore back in 2005, has a problem with me. I know I have moved out, paid off whatever rent was owed, and finished the lease. Even got our deposit returned to us. But yet still there is a looming issue which apparently has not been resolved -- their paperwork claims they have an open case against me. What is this? I do not know. I have never been notified, or chased down screaming. And it seems neither have they. But somehow this will be fixed. I will make sure of it.

Yet it is still good to know that this is, as of yet, the only thing left holding me back in life. And that alone is enough for me.

I am finally out of the hospital

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:12:18 GMT

All of the nurses said it is very rare to have Dr. Garro's patients stay for more than one night, but nonetheless they kept me there for two. Well, the surgery itself was a success, but I don't think anybody anticipated the amount of bleeding that I was to endure...

"Have you been known to experience excessive bleeding?" I remember that question being asked during the pre-op appointment by one of Dr. Garro's nurses. Throughout my entire life, up unto this point, my experience was quite the opposite. If I got a cut or a gash, I would bleed very slowly and heal very quickly. When a nurse would take my blood for sample or donation, it would always take them several attempts and many times it would not produce enough blood. It became a challenge I would always confront them with when I sat into their chair: I would grin mercilessly and wish them luck as they search my arms for veins. And the select few very talented nurses who have gotten it right on the first attempt (there have only been 2 on my count) would be rewarded by my pleasant surprise. And when I have participated in blood play, which I am so fond of, and my donor wants to share in the exchange, they oftentimes find themselves disappointed with only small amounts before the wound closes.

This is why I was quite startled to discover that during the night after the surgery I was swallowing large quantities of blood. Throughout the day pain had definitely been a factor, as I had felt that for the 3 hours I was unconscious they had me sleeping under a pile of bricks... despite the fact that immediately after waking up I was feeling spectacular and was carrying on a nice conversation with the hot nurse in the recovery room. It wasn't until after they moved me to the corner so I could wait that extra hour longer than expected for my room to be cleaned that I began to feel my body's delayed reaction from the surgery. They shot me up with two syringes of 8mg of morphine and two sets of two pills of Tylenol 3 to try and alleviate my pain, but I was convinced that neither of those medications were having any effect.

I didn't start to swallow blood until the night nurse was on duty, who seemed to speak or understand very little english. I tried to explain to her (in an albeit muffled voice) that I was puking blood and it felt like it was suffocating me from the back of my throat. All that she could respond was that bleeding was normal, so I gave up trying to explain it and told her that I was feeling nauseous. That she understood. So she gave me a shot of some very powerful muscle relaxer into my IV which quickly knocked me out for a good 3 hours afterwards. Finally some relief. But when I woke up from it around 6 am I am only feeling worse and realized I passed out without my hydrator mask on, so my entire mouth and throat were excruciatingly dry. I call the nurse to refill my water pitcher and change my bandage (which has to be changed about every 5 minutes) and tell her that I am still swallowing and puking blood, so one of them finally calls my doctor. But the only response is that "it is normal".

Well, my doctor comes in later and checks me out seeing that I'm still bleeding a lot and tells me he wants me to stay for another night. And when he checks my throat he notices something bad, so all the nurses start to scramble up whatever tools they have handy for him to use and he grabs a tongue depressor and a giant pair of forceps and rips out a huge glob of coagulated blood that had dried inside my throat. Thank you Dr. Garro. Exactly what I had been needing the entire night and he does it in a matter of seconds. This is why I like him; soft spoken, quick and dirty, and always knows what he is doing... yet I have probably only seen him for a combined total of 5 minutes through all of my appointments and procedures. So he switches my painkillers to Percocet and the rest of the day and night I spend in and out of sleep, reading (thank you, Candice, for your book of 100 Evils), and chatting with the many nurses who come in and out to check my blood pressure, IV, and pain level. That was probably the best part of my time there. All the nurses were very kind and helpful, and they all seemed very intrigued by me... and my many quirks.

So here I am, finally home from my extended stay, a bottle of Percocet in hand, still bleeding slightly, and hoping that this is all going to pay off soon and no longer have to live my life with constant sinus pain hopped up on Claritin D and unable to breathe... But most of all, I am looking forward to being off that damn liquid diet and finally enjoy a real meal for a change.

EB2 English Translation Released!

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 04:21:15 GMT

Woot! This is the best news I've received all week:

Mother 3 Fan Translation Released!

After 2 long years of work, I, and thousands of other english-speaking fans, can finally enjoy this fantastic game! And I give major props to the hackers at fobby.net for completing one of the most difficult and time-consuming english translations of a video game ever. I have been keeping up with the progress of this project since the beginning and watching all of the goof sample videos they have been posting on YouTube, so you can imagine the excitement that I expressed when I heard the tink of new mail only 20 minutes ago :)

For those of you who don't know, EarthBound (Mother) is the craze that brought Ness and Lucas (among other things) to Nintendo's Smash Bros. series. EarthBound has been my favorite game growing up, and well... ever. And it has influenced my life in every way possible, as a game designer, writer, and a human being. So I was saddened when the planned N64 sequel was cancelled mid-production, but then glad they didn't decide to scrap it altogether. The developers decided to remake the sequel for the Gameboy Advance using graphics and music more similar to the original, which sounded even better. Unfortunately, they didn't see enough of a market outside of Japan, and never translated the game. In the meantime, the Mother craze in Japan went booming, and us Americans were denied every second of it.

But now here it is, 13 years later, and I can enjoy the game in all its witty silliness and action-packed adventures from my own computer, fully translated and ready to go!

And it couldn't have come at a better time, too. The latest game I have been working on has been heavily influenced by this game series, and finally playing the 3rd installation is enough to properly whet my inspiration throughout development.

Interesting find

Fri, 30 May 2008 03:14:15 GMT

Octagon Global Recruiting Explore the possibilities...

Interesting new company. Seems they have the potential to do a lot of good for this world.

I got a big kick outta this...

Tue, 20 May 2008 02:56:18 GMT

Emo cult?

"Only after her death would they discover how she had secretly chatted online to emo followers all over the world, talking about death and of the "black parade" — a place where all emos believe they go after they die."

Goth got a reputation of sinister vampire death cults and plain not giving a shit... Emo lives on a reputation of over-dramatization and suicide. What the fuck happened?

He's back.

Sat, 17 May 2008 07:00:38 GMT

That's right! Your unfriendly faraway vampire has returned, ready to wreak havoc on LJ once more.

Coming soon, to a comment near you.

Pedestrian

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 20:20:51 GMT

There always seem to be those moments, those times when things just stand out and make you think how strange and unreal reality might be.

At work today, I was doing my usual maintenance of the office computers. Well maybe not so usual, as I was installing the newest version of our backup software, of which the older version I had just finished installing a week prior. Well, the new version of said software our company bought was a Pro version, so the configuration files, job files, and schedules weren't compatible... meaning I had to basically repeat the entire process all over again that I had just done a week before, on top of creating disaster recovery discs for all the machines and re-running the backups for every user. So, while running these backups, we discover odd network I/O failures that are interfering with our backups. Turns out that our backup drive, sitting on the network line, is undergoing a drive failure... so bad that the hardware is thrashing away at itself. We scramble to grab all the important data from the drive while we still can. Shut down. Run diagnostics. Wait. And we begin to research the cost of purchasing a new 2 terabyte RAID network drive, to prevent this from happening in the future. (FYI, for those of you who don't know what RAID is; it has the ability to actively mirror its data over several parallel hard drives so that, if one drive fails, the data can still be recovered.)

And while waiting through this until the backups can be safely run again, I begin to stare out of the window of our 9th story office in the middle of McLean Virginia. McLean is a very active city; there is a mall across the street, many high-rise office complexes, industrial lawn-mowers cutting every blade of grass, pedestrians running around from street to street and parking lot to parking lot, and far more traffic than any one sane person can handle. After watching the town from above for a few minutes, I begin feeling very voyeuristic, realizing that most of the people in the world below are completely unaware that any of them may be being watched at this very moment. I start wondering what the chances are that any one person, at this moment, would witness a major accident, a hit-and-run, or even catch a pedestrian getting run over by one of the many vehicles sharing the road with them. There is something very appealing about knowing the real truth to a situation that nobody involved could even be sure of.

I start doing the math. 500 windows on the building in front of me, 4 buildings all facing the same street. If only 10% of those windows contained a person inside, maybe a 1% chance that any one of those people would be looking out of their window at any given moment, and a 50% chance that their eyes are focused on just the right spot... And in this moment what I see snaps me back into reality as I watch, very clearly and distinctively, the front bumper of an SUV slam directly into the side of a young woman's knee. I stare at them, my eyes wide and my jaw an inch dropped, as the man, suited in business attire, hops out of his seat to face the young woman. I witness the argument, the apology, the man who walked in from behind helping her to a seat on the curb, her frantic phone call, another man rushing out of the office building with a bagfull of ice. No ambulance was called, no police, not even a single car... she is helped into the SUV and quickly driven off, the other two not far behind... And I've finished my math. Do you know the answer? ... One. Only one person in all of two-thousand windows would have witnessed this entire spectacle. And that one person... was me.

The rest of the world returns to normal, oblivious to what had happened just moments before. Business as usual. Only these 5 would remember what had happened on this day. Does anybody ever wonder what might have happened at this very place only minutes ago, as they span their distance over miles and miles of the same earth? Do they ever wonder what events they may not have missed had they been looking in the right place? Are our experiences in this life so rare and unique that merely moments in front of our eyes can change the events we witness, the weight of our memories, the very way in which we think?

TrollBridge User Script

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 22:03:45 GMT

Announcing my latest user script: TrollBridge for LiveJournal.

This is a user script for use with a supported web browser, such as the Greasemonkey extension for Firefox. It is a nice, simple way to hide comments from journals and communities from annoying and spammy users. Effectively putting the Troll back under his Bridge.

To use, install this script and you will notice a troll icon () next to people's names in the comments. Clicking this icon will mark the user as a Troll and hide his/her/its comments from you! If you want to Un-Troll a user, simply scroll down to the very bottom of the comments page and click on their name in the list.

This script was requested by eracerhead, and is still in beta. So feel free to use this journal as a bug tracker / feature requests / support forum.

Known Bugs / Future Plans:

Currently only works on un-themed comment pages. Support for themed comments may be available at a later date. If you absolutely NEED a particular theme to be supported please post the name of the theme, and a link to a journal entry with comments.
Does not work for Friends Pages when the user posts to a community.

Sorry Excuses...

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 21:33:38 GMT

Well, I haven't posted here in a while, so I guess it's time for an update.

I've been working on a bunch of different things lately. A while back, I finished the Google Map I made for Baltimore-Washington UU's. It's quite neat, they gave us a lot of praise for that, and it was loads of fun learning how to create maps with javascript.

I've also started working on a new design for our company website, starting with the logo. But man, it needs a change... It's been the same way for over 6 years, hardly even follows modern internet standards, and the graphics are mediocre at best. But this means I've been playing around in photoshop a lot lately, and brushing up on my skills. I think I've got something quite awesome in the making :)

Oh, and speaking of photoshop, I've also been creating a bunch of neat icons, mainly for the MySpace - Add Image Links 2 Greasemonkey script I've made. Well more like updated, but I changed the structure of the code around completely, and added so many new features to it that basically only the concept was retained (which I didn't come up with). But that's my contribution to Open Source for the week.

I also posted 2 new photographs on my deviantArt page. So go check them out. Direct links are here: [Glowing Colors 1] [Glowing Colors 2]. Stephanie was the model in both pictures, the drawing and photography is by me. It was a collaborative effort coming up with the colors.

Alchemy

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 09:55:47 GMT

The new alchemy club is awesome. There are 4 rooms, each with their own dance floor. And you can't hear any music from another room in any of them.

Although it was very interesting for the first night, the bouncers were learning how to search the clubbers, and the valet parking was disorganized at best. Also, the bartenders, which are the same ones as usual, were sluggish during the open bar, but possibly due to the fact that there were no taps or fountains. When I ordered a rum and coke, they poured it right from the bottles... lol.

But all in all, it was a lot of fun. Much bigger than Nation, even though there is a lot of getting used to. I was a bit weary of the big stage at the entrance in the middle of the whole club, but it seemed to work as the night went on. I think as it goes it will get better, and the clubbers will get used to the new venue. But my night was quite awesome, and it was worth the $5 parking, $8 cover and the $20 I spent on drinks.

WTF!?!

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 17:57:16 GMT

OK, so I finally fit the profile for one of those surveys that maroonmd signed me up for, and, unsurprisingly, it was for alcoholic beverages. Now, I know I signed a confidentiality agreement, but when I saw this product in the bunch I laughed my ass off in how absolutely crazy the idea was! So, naturally, I have to share it with everyone >;)

I removed the name, to keep confidentiality, but here it is:

_______ VODKA

_______ vodka is triple distilled for purity and infused with a high quality, concentrated electrolyte formula to enhance re-hydration and refreshment. This is a ready-to-drink vodka for consumers on the move. Hydrate your world with _______ vodka!

30 proof. Served in 12oz sports bottles.

[pictures of people hiking, fishing, running track, golfing, and drinking with friends]
[picture of the gatorade-like assorted neon bottles]

Yep, this drink will definitely improve your game! Might even be safe for those long car rides to the office!

UPDATE: Btw, you LJ-ers. If you haven't heard, LJ just implemented a chat client that uses Jabber (same as Google Talk). It's in beta now, but soon they will make it so you can conversate directly on the LJ site. It otally owns!

Superman Is Dead

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 03:47:00 GMT

Is the headline the newspaper should've read. At least it would've made it a better movie.

Well, actually it wasn't terrible, pretty decent action scenes. And Kevin Spacey totally saved it.

But what was up with Superman? Why is clark such a wimp, and when did Superman turn emo? Just look at his hair for christ's sake! Boo hoo, Lois Lane got a new boyfriend and the world hates me. I should kill myself with kriptonite, and then they'd see how much they need me.

meh, at least it saved us from the estrogen.

The Day

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 05:06:30 GMT

Or rather, Week. It was a very interesting one, to say the least. Been having to deal with dumb drug addicts, and stupid people. But then again, when do I not? However, the quantity this time was a lot greater.

Anyway, my weekend-long party was a success! I had loads of fun, and just about everybody I invited showed up, so the place was packed with hoardes of people. No cops were called, and the only major problem was that someone took my parents' expensive universal remote. But I guess whoever it was felt guilty (or they realized it wasn't usable outside of our house) and returned it. But they decided to throw it under a car and leave it out in the rain, so it was soaked, then made up some dumb story to try to cover for it. Oh wells, at least we got it back.

I also sprained my ankle real bad wrestling with Angel and Jello. I had her in a good reverse pin, too. Didn't start feeling my ankle until much later on in the night, and it swelled up real bad. I guess she wasn't too thrilled that I shoved a cupcake down her throat, muhahaha >:)

We also got tons of pictures, courtesy maroonmd. You can find them in my scrapbook. Got some good pictures of people chilling, raving, and wrestling, and of people blowing fire, smoke, and kisses. Just check it out.

( Pictures )

Homosexual Marriage Issues

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 18:37:22 GMT

I saw this and just had to post it.

10 reasons why gay marriage is wrong.

This is actually really funny but serious at the same time.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage would be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

MSI Concert Pictures!

Tue, 09 May 2006 17:08:56 GMT

I had a great time at the MSI Concert last night, and took some wonderful pictures!


The Band Isn't this just the perfect photo?	Awesome I even captured 2 things at once!

The Ceiling I got a great photo of the celing, too. Look at the detail.	The Devil This is a nice close-up of the bouncer. He looks soooo evil!

On Stage If you look closely, you can see Kitty way back there.	Steve Righ? I'm not quite sure if this is Steve Righ? or a random concert-goer.

Lights! The lighting arrangement on the stage was impressive!	Ack! Now what the hell is this?

But seriously, I have some good pictures of the concert,

Just check out My MSI Concert Gallery in My ScrapBook.

Call me evil, but...

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 20:36:44 GMT

Mmm, today LJ just released their new feature, the Sponsored+ Account Level. Which gives users about 1/2 of the features of a paid account, but nearly 3 times as many than an ordinary free account. So I'm upgrading to test it out. Which means I now have 15 userpics I can mess around with :)

So, I figured, since I created a Greasemonkey script to remove all the ads in Myspace to make it look and feel like how the web should be (Ad Free!), then maybe I can make one for LiveJournal. Of course, I realize that doing this is incredibly evil and shouldn't ever be done to a well-made, high-quality, open-source designed web site like this one... But, well, I can't resist >:)

Must represent the broke fools of the world who want a powerful voice on the Net!

Expect it to be finished today, and I'll post the result later. Anybody using the Firefox web browser can install the free Greasemonkey extension to use these scripts. So if you are interested in using this script to upgrade to a Sponsored+ account, or know anybody who might be, direct them to my blog.

Then it's time to upload my next slew of 9 new userpics >;)

EDIT:
OK, I've finished the script. You can find it here: LJ Sponsored+ Slicer
It's short, and simple, and works very well... I've tested it fairly thoroughly, and it works great! Not sure if Paid accounts can benefit from it yet, but I'm pretty sure all ads are disabled for paid accounts.

BTW, if you don't have firefox or greasemonkey, click those links to download them.

More information can be found on the comments of this post.

The Universe

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:23:44 GMT

The universe is a strange place. Things happen for almost no reason and they will surprise you. But then looking back on it, it seems maybe there was a reason for everything.

So yesterday, I got a call from just the right person on just the right day at just the right time. This person I feel I've known for so long, yet I barely know her at all. Seems we've both been going around meeting the same people, but we never really got to know each other. So I take her to see Slither (which by the way is an excellent movie), and afterwards a bottle of jager. And so we got to know each other real well. And what can I say? She has one of the most unique personalities I've seen in ages. She is absolutely fun to be around. And she is an incredible tease. but, wait wait wait, can't fall this fast. Don't want to fuck this one up. But it feels so good....

My CD Case...

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 20:27:26 GMT

I had a fairly fun weekend, just chilling and not going to crazy for a change... But I think I have to get the brakes fixed on my car, which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't broke... Grr, I was expecting to have been paid for the website by now.

Anyway, read this if you're interested:

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

EDIT: added some, and it changed the order around...

Update Time!

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 10:41:13 GMT

Well, not too much has happened lately. I've pretty much just been keeping up with work. Although, I did finish the website I've been working on for VSE Basketball. However, there was a bit of a dispute against the cost of the website. The guy who runs VSE is an old friend of mine, we used to MUD together on GoG waaaay back, and when I started my own MUD (Bloodlust Battlefield) he became my Head Builder (and created about 90% of the world). And, considering this was the first website I've created with a Content Management System (using PHP and MySQL), I figured I was giving him a nice discount. Unfortunately, he was expecting me to charge him a lot less... But I think I've convinced him that my price is right, and now we're just figuring out how he can afford to pay me :P

As far as the dating scene goes, it seems there just aren't enough cool, single girls out there... at least in my area. Whenever I meet someone I like who likes me back, she is with some overprotective boyfriend so it ends there. And it doesn't appear as if I could get Angel back with me, especially since she has a new boyfriend now. But I don't know if I want her back anyway, at least not right now. However, she does appear to be growing up now. She's doing fine in college, and is considering joining the air force, which I think would be a great plan for her so she can get some discipline in her life.

I spent most of today installing our new print/fax/copy machine, which is actually quite neat and works very well (for both Mac OS X and Windows, I might add!). We have it installed on our network, and it prints so fast the page is done printing before I can run down the stairs and grab it! But I had to install their complicated software package on all the computers in the house (we have 4 of them), and it takes like a fucking half an hour to install it on the Windows machines!... But whatever, it works, that's what counts the most.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year.

Facts:
1905 - Cullinan Diamond, the largest diamond known, is discovered by Frederick Wells.
1982 - Greece abolishes headshaving of the recruits in the military.
1997 - An unmanned Progress spacecraft collided with the Russian Space station, Mir.

Births:
Fuck this, I don't know a single soul on this list...

Deaths:
1134 - King Nicholas of Denmark
1579 - Hatano Hideharu, Japanese warlord and samurai (b. 1541)
1916 - Thomas Eakins, American artist (b. 1844)
2005 - John Fiedler, voice of Piglet in many Winnie the Pooh productions (b. 1925)
(the deaths made up for the births.... [wait, is that possible?])

You scored as Luna Lovegood. If you went to Hogwarts you would be boning Luna Lovegood. Yea she\'s a crazy, but think of all that sexual frustration being let out on you!Hell, she\'s crazy, she\'ll do anything!

</td>

Luna Lovegood

75%

Hermione Granger

65%

Ginny Weasly

60%

Fluer Delacour

50%

Moaning Myrtle

40%

Cho Chang

30%

Narcissa Malfoy

30%

WHO ARE YOU SCREWING AT HOGWARTS (bold new version for men)
created with QuizFarm.com

Oh yeah, I also created a whole slew of new userpics for LJ to widen my range of self-expression. So, expect to see them in your comments. Unfortunately, I couldn't use them all because free accounts are limited to 6! So, if any nice person wants to buy a paid account to make a depressed(ing) guy happy, it would be greatly appreciated :)

the Prodigy

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 20:06:58 GMT

MM, the Prodigy concert last night was lods of fun. It's too bad that half the people who wanted to go weren't able to.

It was interesting, Brittany tried to spike my hair up, but it ended up looking like horns, or just really fucked up dreds, lol. Then at some point she just tied it in a knot on top of my head. People said it looked very interesting... lol.

But I managed to find my sister through all the crowds of people, and she got me in sidestage while Prodigy was playing. So I got to see him all up close and personal. It was an excellent view. The lead singer with the dreds even came right up next to me, and I stared him straight in the eyes. It was awesome. My sister rocks!!!

I think Brittany just ended up passing out in the room upstairs, and missed the whole show... Then they closed off the main room and opened Alchemy, so we got to dance for a while. Then we left and I drove them all home, still tripping a little, and we all talked about intelligent things. So all in all, the whole day was awesome.

Now for the bad news... I had a bunch of people over the night before, and apparently someone spilled water all over my keyboard and fried it. So now I have no fuckin keyboard to use (I'm borrowing my moms right now). Urg, it pisses me off!

Bad vibe weekend

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 19:05:06 GMT

This past weekend was a real tragedy. On Saturday, 2 separate accidents caused death and/or serious injury to people I know.

The first, was an accident that killed Austin and Mike. Austin was the boyfriend of a very good friend of mine, Ashley. And Mike was his best friend. Austin was apparently driving way too fast on a back-road in Waldorf, and flew off the side of the road into a tree. The result was a big bloody mess. Ashley is really going through a rough time right now, so we're all trying to be there for her.

The other accident was involving a friend of mine, Tim. Apparently he got into a car with a drunk driver, who ran a red light and smashed into a car with 4 passengers. The driver died, and Tim and the other passenger were both rushed to Children's in DC. He's in the ICU strapped to a breathing device and is apparently recovering OK. Tim was only 14, and he was always the youngest of the people we used to hang out with in the Park. So we always tried to keep him out of trouble so he wouldn't end up like us. And now he's in a hospital struggling for his life. Here's an article about the accident, with pictures. It was a horrible mess.

My Girl

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 10:57:08 GMT

Here is a poem I decided to write, just as I was laying down for bed. Some here may find it fascinating, others erotic, and many may find it greatly disturbing. But, in any event, it highly amuses me.

My Girl
I want a girl who smiles when she sees me
and her heart thrashes to my name
she never fears when I'm away
but always needs me deep inside

I want a girl who listens when I speak
and answers my questions truthfully
she always remembers what I say
but never hates the words

I want a girl who asks permission
before she takes what she desires
she enjoys it while it lasts
but thanks me when she's done

I want a girl who offers her chains
and begs of me to use them
she always feels my hand as it strikes
but will bear the pain I deliver

I want a girl with cute and sexy eyes
that look up at me from below
she rules my nether regions
but finishes it merrily

I want a girl who doubles as a foot stool
and balances my ice cold beverage
she lets me keep her in a box
but is always there when I need her

I want a girl who amuses me with dance
and knows to persist continually
she has the energy of a mare
but she rides on me instead

I want a girl who will bleed for me
and feed me her vitality
she entrusts of me her entirety
but asks of nothing in return

I want a girl who is done when told
and cuts straight down through her vein
she whispers that she loves me
but may never speak again

Update

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 21:47:45 GMT

I know I don't post much on LJ anymore, but I don't really have much to say. My life has been mostly work, sleep, food, and a lot of thinking. I've been getting out and chilling with friends, but it's just the same old shit, and it's rather boring to talk about. I don't have a girlfriend to write about anymore, I don't go crazy with drugs anymore, I don't do a bunch of crazy shit like I used to. I suppose those are good things, but it makes me feel boring.

On the plus side, I have been having a lot of fun, too. I went to Nation 2 weeks in a row. The first week my friends didn't even show up, but I had fun without them. The second week, everybody was there, including Mark and Tiffany, and I hadn't seen them in aeons, so we had a ton of fun. Lately I've been hanging out with Mark, because Mike, Vickie, and Jason, and all them seem to be all exclusive now. But Mark is cool, so we're still having tons of fun without them. Then there's this girl, Danielle, who obviously likes me, but she's not really my type... And Ashley, who seems preoccupied. And our friends Eric and Sherry (Sherric) are moving to Florida soon, so we won't get to see them much anymore. They're having a party later today, too, before they leave.

I've written 3 new poems on my deviantART page: To Go On, Final Tear, and Dream.

Oh, and a few bands are coming into town this week. Prodigy will be at Nation on the 23rd, and Korn (and I heard Mudvayne was with them) will be in Baltimore on the 25th. So I'm trying to go and see at least 1 of them. If anybody is interested, let me know.

What is this all about...

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 00:35:27 GMT

I don't know why things happen the way they do. Perhaps everything is just a result of the way we live our lives. I've never been much of a people person, but for some reason I always end up desiring to be with people. Even now, that life seems to have everything working out OK, and I'm feeling like I'm accomplishing much more than I ever have. I'm finally getting back to doing the things I love, I'm able to participate in church functions again, my programming abilities are finally almost back to where they used to be, I'm starting to have vivid, imaginative, memorable dreams again, and I actually think I'm healing from all the damage. But I still long to be with people, and there are a lot of people I still miss.

I wonder why it is that there always seems to be a time when nobody appears to want to talk to me, or when everyone has just seemed to disappear. And I keep thinking about all the times that I really needed someone, and that that person just really wasn't there, even when they were in the same room. I always try to be there for others, sometimes a little too hard. But it seems that every time I actually start to care about something and put a real effort into it, is when it all falls apart. When I started putting effort into my first serious MUD, and got everything near completion, is when the HD crashes and I lose everything. When I was in Baltimore and barely had any friends around, and spent most of my days just going to work and coming home, the only thing that kept me going was that I had a big collection of CDs to listen to... which got stolen out of my car. Once I found someone I loved, I did everything I could to keep from losing her, and figured I finally had someone who would be there for me... then that all fell apart. And whenever I focus on being with friends, even if they're not the greatest friends one could have, we lose touch. And when I think I've met someone I really like, they don't respond to my messages. In the end, I just end up alone, and with nothing. Maybe I am just destined with a life of solitude.

For all of you who want to know my secret of how I stay so laid-back, it's because I can't care, I can't let myself care. But now it seems I've truly understood who I am, so I no longer need to go out and keep searching... But I'm still not complete, I'm not finished with what I'm supposed to do. And I still have this burning need inside of me, a need to be with someone who understands me, a true equal... Someone I can talk to at My level... Someone I can care about...

But everytime I care about something it always falls apart.

EDIT: P.S. If you've ever had a curious mind and a tiny sense of humor, you should go and read God's Debris, it's an eBook written by Scott Adams (yes, that Scott Adams) that is about as unessential as it is humorous. Just go read it.

Palm Trees and Fun in the Sun

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:27:38 GMT

Well, I just got home from christmas break. We had it in South Carolina this year (where the palm tree is the state plant) with my uncle and his kids, and most of the rest of the family was there as well. It was kinda interesting... After our 9-hour drive, we pull up to his neighborhood seeing all the decorated palm trees for christmas along with tons of other typical christmas decor, having a good laugh saying "damn, that better not be his house." Then we pull up to his moderately decorated cul-de-sac, only to see his house decorated just as much as the others... Palm trees and all.

So, we mostly just played pool and cards all weekend. Oh, and I finally got to watch Serenity, which was pretty damn good. Actually, I had bought that DVD for the random gift exchange, and my sister ended up with it, heh. I ended up with a neat CD/DVD cabinet, where it has 2 CD cabinets and they separate to hold DVDs, like bookends. My grandma also got me a gift certificate for Borders, which was cool. And my Uncle got me a T-Shirt that says "Temporarily Out of Service", it's white, tho.

My parents bought me a new computer, which I desperately needed. It's actually quite neat, it's a Mac Mini, it's about the size of a CD, only square, and about 2-3 inches tall. And damn, this thing is way faster than my old 1999 iMac. Only thing is, our spare monitor sucks, cuz the screen is all dark and blurry. So hopefully my sister gets a new monitor soon so she can give me back mine...

I wish I had a dime for every person who asked me about what happened between me and my ex-girlfriend, now it just seems so boring to tell it. It was on the verge of happening for a while now, anyway. I actually feel better for getting out of what I feel was a very emotionally abusive relationship. So now I can focus more on my work, doing things I enjoy, and even going to church for a change, without having to worry about someone else or risk jumping into a really lousy situation. But anyway, that's all behind me now.

So, another weird thing about the weekend... On christmas eve, at the stroke of midnight, the neighbors start launching off fireworks. Fuckin fireworks, for christmas? And while the kids are trying to sleep so that santa can deliver them their gifts (and dodge fireworks, while he's at it?), too.

Meh, so on the way home we have to drive back with our grandma, and all the gifts and luggage crammed into the back. So the 5 of us have to squeeze into this truck, gettin cramps and having to switch around a lot. Personally, it wasn't too bad, I basically just zoned out the whole trip, and once my parents decide to put on the christmas choir-y music on the stereo, I switch to headphones and listen to metal. When we stopped at Burger King, I bought a triple whopper, thinking it would be the normal size, but no, it was FUCKIN HUGE! like twice the size of a normal triple whopper! Needless to say, I spent the whole 9 hour car ride nibbling on it, and it didn't help that I also had to eat all the food the others couldn't finish :P.